My name is Claudia Boleyn. I am twenty-seven years old, and am based in Kent, England. I am British, with dual heritage. My father is Indian, and my mother is English. Following my parents’ separation when I was three, I lost a significant connection to my Indian culture, and only returned to it, and to my father, as a teen. I have spent the last few years trying to ‘find’ myself as a whole, instead of the many fractured parts I became as I grew up.

 

Balancing the two still separate aspects of my identity, and feeling broken, or split, is a theme I return to over and over in my writing.

 

A theme in my life seems to be sitting in a place ‘between’ things, or at least, being perceived to be. As a bisexual, the issues of my racial background have been mirrored, as society still struggle to understand bisexuality as a whole identity in and of itself, rather than a stepping stone between straight and gay. Even here in Britain, where we so much safer than in other parts of the world, it is usual to face hostility from both the gay and straight communities, who feel that in choosing someone to love, we are ultimately picking a side. 

 

Lastly, I have Emotional Intensity Disorder (otherwise known as Borderline Personality Disorder), something I talk about in much more depth on my YouTube channel. I have struggled with this disorder since I was a child, and to put it simply, I experience extremes of emotions and struggle with the concept of identity. Having EID means having a shifting sense of self, which never quite seems to stick. With such fluid, powerful emotions, I have taken several overdoses in my life, and I continue to struggle with suicidal ideation. This is not uncommon for people with EID, and at the age of twenty five, I am finally learning how to live with this baffling disorder, how to utilise the powerful highs and lows in my creative work, and how to withstand periods of deep depression. Recently, I have made peace with my disorder, and have decided to reclaim my life, on my own terms. I aim to make up for the many years lost to mental illness. 

 

I am emotionally, racially, and (to some people) sexually living in The Between. I do not yet feel like a whole person, and my sense of place gets more tenuous by the day. Particularly in the political climate of British citizens being made stateless, I think often about what that means for one of my only stable identities, which is being British. As the days go by (and I am more vocal about my Indian heritage), I receive more and more messages telling me to ‘go back to India’, a country to which I have never been. 

 

I use art to cope with the EID, and that extends to writing, painting, and music. I love losing myself in the stories of others, and have a particular love of character writing, especially family dynamics and intense character studies. My aspiration is to be a soap writer or write for a television series, where I can focus on portraying realistic characters, while educating audiences through people they have grown to care about. 

 

I am fairly opinionated (or so I have been told). I am a left winger and feminist, and my political beliefs are very dear to me. With a disorder and history like mine, there is nothing more valuable to me than my individuality, my freedom of thought and expression, and my voice, both political and artistic. Sometimes both.

 

It is intensely important to me that I stand up for myself, and for others. If you are looking for someone who writes or creates without a political message, then I am not the person for you. Life is far, far too short, and I am much, much too angry and sad about the way the world is right now.  

 

If you’ve managed to get through all of that, then congratulations. This may not be the ‘About’ section you were expecting, but I hope you now feel closer to me for having read it. 

 

Thank you for checking out my website, and if you would like to contact me, fill in the contact form at the bottom of the page. I am always interested in writing work, and would love to get some pieces published. If I can use my experiences to help in some small way, then at least those terrible dark years weren’t for nothing. 

 

xxx